In refference to Rachel's collection and her having a blog on cats and song lyrics. Here's a kitten. Hopefully, one day, my kitten. (As soon as she gains .5 pounds to be at 2 pounds and thus, be able to be spayed.)
((Warning: If there is no need to place my personal life in this blog or if you don't want to read about it, skip this entry. Just skip it.))
Look at this piece of cuteness. This is Dot (soon to be re-named if all goes well) and we're planning to adopt her as a therapeutic cat. It has been studied that caring for another animal or human being can help those with severe trauma, mental conditions and emotional deficiency. Lately I have been looking into the study of this and it is what has motivated me to adopt a kitten, as the only family member to take care of I could have while living in New York. Growing up away from home, abandoning a culture you're extremely adapt and used to is difficult, I can say from experience. These past 2 years and a half of adaptation have been quite eventful, full of hardships yet blessings, chaallenges yet gifts...
Many say change, towards a harder circumstance, is not good for a patient of depression and anxiety. I fully agree and disagree with this statement. I believe that, if anything, distracting myself with difficult circumstances results in a great diversion and way to manage your own internal struggles... in an easier way. Of course, there were times I wasn't as strong and succombed to my emotions in my stage of adaptation but, for the most part, it helped.
I have been officially diagnosed with this (because hey, so many people take pills for that nonsense nowadays. Psychiatrists have to pay rent!) for about 3 years yet battling it since the time of my father's death 7 years ago. I can openly mention this and state it in a class blog thanks to years of therapy. There was a time I could not even mention/ accept this fact and confirming it is a strong enough stride for myself.
You may think all this is unrelated to my classmate's, Rachel, collection for this week, but I beg to differ. In her collection, Rachel placed a blog about deconstructions and presentations on psychiatry. Naturally, I was brought to search for mental illness on this page and found this article (( http://thelastpsychiatrist.com/2007/12/deus_ex_homonymia.html#more )).
'Deus Ex Homonymia' presents the correlation of violence with children and young teenagers. The general perception of a depressed youth is that, according to this article, they are somewhat likely or very likely to be dangerous to themselves or others. Yet, clinical studies prove that that is not the case. These youths are more prone to hurting themselves and are just as prone as any other youth with no mental illness to have a violent disposition. This misconception society has against the mentally ill is counter-productive.
If a misinformed adult treats a child or youth with depression differently, as if any reaction could provoke their 'violent' nature, the child will feel marginalized and will only worsen their condition; it could trigger traumas of social unacceptance and, in effect, anxiety. This form of counter-productivity in the child's struggle to overcome or at least co-exist with his/her condition merely leads to a higher probablity of self-harm (mentally, physically or emotionally).
Now, why do I present such a personal background in combination and contrast to such an impersonal article? If the relation isn't evident by now, I will clarify. My high school was private, all girls, catholic; probably one of the worse combinations for someone struggling with depression/anxiety. High school and middle school are always awkward years of struggles and 'comming of age', yet place this with only women of wealthier classes and you have it at least twice as hard.
Upon entering my new school, I was very quiet, not well known and I guess awkward and chubby. Perfect target for bullying. That was all I dealt with in 7th grade. I even once got bullied in class by two girls because I hadn't ever shaved my legs when I was 12; they called me disgusting and boy-ish (major insult in a chauvinistic culture for a woman) for that. Then comes 8th grade and a month into the school year my father falls ill; he only lasted 5 days ill and on that Friday he passed away at 46.
He was my best friend and 'partner in crime'; this forever altered my life until this day as I write this entry(unsure if I should be writing this in the first place...). From that day forth I was known as that quiet chubby girl with long hair that had no father and was good at art. Girls and teachers in school treated me differently. Professors were kinder, a false kindness to be exact, and the girls were more cautious around me, thus resulting in very little friends and social interactions. I later on heard many thought I was satanic, unusual and intimidating... a projection of this sub-concious planting that kids who have faced harships in their lives and thus, fallen into the 'mentally ill' section are more prone to violent and unusally scary personalities.
I didn't know they had such negative perceptions, years later I did find out. Being oblivious to my classmate's negativity, I spent all my energies developing my drawing and painting afterwards, never speaking about the incident...a timebomb of 'mental illness' stored within me. It wasn't until years later that I finally spoke about the incident.
Now, I still struggle with this 'illness'. I take medication for it, yet little know I actually do or undergo it. It's very hard to put such a smile and charming sense of self when you feel this way. This is why I highly disagree with those that believe people with depression have a violent predeisposition.
I bring this forward to present a first-account experience on maginalization due to mental illness. This article struck me because, something I knew and experienced years ago, manifests itself as a scientific evaluation and study. I am thankful my classmate posted this, despite it's lack of relation to our course 'Printmaking Now', this website was great for myself to explore.
-Bettina
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